Helping my Mom move out of her Home….
I returned from a trip down home about two months ago. It was an unexpected trip to help my mom move out of her house into a retirement home. My sister and I told her one night and moved her out the next day. Sounds insensitive but we all figured the less time she had to ponder it, the better things would go. I stayed a week with my mom in her room at the retirement community. We fixed it up really nice… were able to move some of her furniture and other personal belongings into it. We were hopeful that she would accept the move and be happy there. I have to say she approached the move with a good attitude but after a few days, reality set in and SHE WANTED TO GO HOME! I felt like I was deserting her when it was time to leave. Saying goodbye to her has been very hard the last several years whenever I have visited her. I am very conscious that it the “good bye” may be the last one.
I was totally exhausted by the time I got back home to Seattle. I was so glad to get back to my house… my home.
Now that I’ve returned to my home, I think about how difficult it has to be for my mom. I would hate for someone to do to me what we had to do for her. I know she had to move out of her home for her own well being, but I can entirely understand when I call her and she is having a bad day and wants to go home.
I hope she can get used to the move and come to think of the retirement community and her “room” as home.
******
It’s been about two months now… when I call her, my Mom no longer talks about going back home. She is pretty satisfied at the retirement home. Her days are full… she especially likes exercise class. She’s won a couple of times at bingo and in arts and crafts, she has made several picture frames I understand. I’m relieved she is doing this well.
She still has occasional bad times. Lately she has been concerned about dying. She thinks about this when it is quiet at night and she is trying to go to sleep. She says she sleeps on her couch with her door open. The nurse’s station is right outside her door which I think is comforting to my mom.
A couple of nights ago, my mom called me… on the phone… first time in years SHE has called ME. She thought I was coming to see her the next day. I hated to disappoint her, but did tell her that we are gonna try hard to come home for Christmas.
It’s difficult to be so far away from her. I feel pretty helpless and out of the loop. I call my mom every couple of days, but I know I don’t get a complete picture from talking with her.
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